Author: ssodergren
Company: ACCC

Calculation - Skool and the Gang

(Yahoo!)  It's your calculation
(Yahoo!)  It's your calculation

Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!

There's a party goin' on right here
A calculation to last the school year
Descartes will be there, and Pythagoras too
We're gonna calculate your hypotenuse

Come on now
Calculation
Let's all calculate and have a good time
Calculation
We're gonna calculate and graph a few lines

It's time for graph construction
It's up to you, what's your function?
Everyone around the world
Come on!

(Yahoo!) Systems of Equations
(Yahoo!) Use Elimination

Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!

We're gonna graph a straight line tonight
Let's calculate, it's all right
We're gonna graph a straight line tonight
Let's calculate, it's all right

Baby...

We're gonna graph a straight line tonight
Let's calculate, it's all right

We're gonna graph a straight line tonight
Let's calculate, it's all right

(Yahoo!) Differentiation
(Yahoo!) Quadratic Equation

Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!
It's an integration!
Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!
Calculate good times, come on!

Money for Mathin' - Dire Raits

I want my PhD

I want my...
I want my PhD

I want my...
I want my PhD

Now look at them bozos
that's the way you do it
You add your fractions with an LCD
That ain't workin'
that's the way you do it
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Now that ain't workin'
that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't fools
Maybe make a million by the time you're 20
Maybe give a million to your school

We gotta wear those pocket protectors
Learn to solve inequalities
We gotta get new calculators
We gotta get TI-83's

The little math nerd with the compass and protractor
Yeah buddy, he looks so weird
The little math nerd got his own big mansion
The little math nerd he's an engineer

We gotta wear those pocket protectors
Learn to solve inequalities
We gotta get new calculators
We gotta get TI-83's

We gotta wear those pocket protectors
Learn to solve inequalities
We gotta get new calculators
We gotta get TI-83's

I shoulda learned to use the bell curve
I shoulda learned the chi-square too
Look at that mama, she knows that sigma squared is variance
And mean is called mu
And he's up there, what's that? Cartesian noises?
Bangin' on the chalkboard like a big math geek
That ain't workin'
that's the way you do it
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees

We gotta wear those pocket protectors
Learn to solve inequalities
We gotta get new calculators
We gotta get TI-83's

Now that ain't workin'
that's the way you do it
You add your fractions with an LCD
That ain't workin'
that's the way you do it
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin'  ...wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees

Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin'   .... wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees
Money for mathin' and your wits for fees

Enter Nerdman - Mathematica

Study hard everyone
don't forget, my son
to include Chapter One

Soak it in, far within
a diploma to win
'til the Nerdman he comes

sleep with textbook open
gripping your pencil tight

exit life
enter strife
time to cram
off to take a math exam

rise and run, study slope
do not be a dope
find a way to cope

dreams of roots, matrices
dreams of vertices
and of asymptotes

sleep with textbook open
gripping your pencil tight

exit life
enter strife
time to cram
off to take a math exam

Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the math my brain will keep
If I die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have to take

No time to rest, no time to slumber
Must keep your mind just on numbers
You must recall the grand finale
Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally

Exit life
Enter strife
Be a nerd

exit life
enter strife
time to cram
off to take a math exam

Square Root of Seven - L.E.D. Zeppelin

There's a lady who's told that in math she must enroll
So she's trying the square root of seven
When she gets there she knows if her test scores are low
With a waiver she'll get what she came for

(Ooo)8
And she's trying the square root of seven

There's a trinomial, and it just might unfoil
'Cause she knows sometimes there's two binomials
If it factors she'll see she can use a property
When a product is equal to zero

Ooh, I check my numbers
Ooh, I check my numbers

And she could if she cares use completing the square
If her spirit is crying for challenge
In her thoughts she has seen problems tougher than these
And the voices of doubt disappearing

Ooh, I check my numbers
Ooh, I check my numbers

And she knows it's the norm to get standard form
Coefficients will lead to the answers
So solutions we reach plugging a, b, and c
In the formula used for quadratics

If there's a negative in your square root
Don't be alarmed now
It just means two complex solutions

Yes, there are many ways to solve by
but in the long run
There's always time to change your method

And I check my numbers

Her head is buzzing and it won't go 'cause of the weirdo 
The math nerd's calling her to join him
Dear lady can you read the textbook and if you look
Your square root lies on the discriminant

And there's a line without a slope
'Cause it's a vertical asymptote
So as a limit we approach
Off to infinity it will go
How everything relates to math
And if you study very hard
Theorems will come to you at last
When class is fun and fun is class
To be the solver not the solved

And she's trying the square root of seven

Equation Man - Silly Joel

It's half past 12 Friday afternoon
The regular crowd shuffles in
With a father of 3 lookin' up at me
Makin' graphs of his conics again.

He says, "Son, can you do trigonometry?
I'm not really sure how it goes
I thought it was cool, way back in high school
But that was 28 years ago.

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la-garithm

Show us a problem, Equation Man
Solve an equation tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for geometry
And you know the angle is right

Now John in the back is my favorite
He's glad to be making a C
He's quick with a laugh, at my most recent gaffe
And there's no place that he'd rather be.
He says, "Man, substitution is killing me
And the functions just won't integrate.
"But, I'm sure that I could be an engineer
If I could somehow graduate."

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la-garithm

Now Debbie's a dental hygienist
Who's doing the best that she can
And she studies with Tony, who bets on the ponies
They're both on the seven year plan.

And the housewife is practicing radicals
As the teenager takes a long nap
Yes, they're sharing a class they call algebra
Most like it, but some think it's CRRR...UD

Show us a problem, Equation Man
Solve an equation tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for geometry
And you know the angle is right

It's a pretty big class for a Friday
And the dean, he gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me, and a TI-83
That make math kinda fun for awhile

And the test, it seems like a root canal
As the room seems to fill up with fear
And they sit in their chairs, and pull out all their hairs
And say, "Man, what are we doing here?"

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la-garithm

Show us a problem, Equation Man
Solve an equation tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for geometry
And you know the angle is right

Imaginary - John Learnon

Imaginary numbers
They're easy if you try
Square root of minus one
Equals the number i
Imaginary numbers
Easier than pi...

Imaginary numbers
They aren't hard to do
Square root of negative 4
Will equal i times 2

Imaginary numbers
Easier than pi...you hoo ooo ooo ooo
You may say I'm a math nerd
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And find out that math is fun

Imaginary numbers
A complex can be killed
If you use the conjugate
Then you'll be back to real

Imaginary numbers
Easier than pi...you hoo ooo ooo ooo
You may say I'm a math nerd
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll remember
That i squared is negative one

Earn the Wage - Job Seker

On a long and curvy roadway
North of Burlingame
You can look out at the farmland
and it always looks the same
You can think about the lecture
or the test you gave the night before

But your time you feel you're squandering
the way you always do
when you're ridin' 46 minutes
and there's nothin' much to do
and you don't feel much like teachin'
you just wish the term was through

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Playin' the sage
Here I go
Teachin' afar again
There I go
Earn the wage

Well you walk into a classroom
passin' out a test
and you feel the glares upon you
like you're some unwanted guest
And you know it cannot bother you
You just take it all in jest.

Most times you don't hear 'em whine
other times you do
All the same old complaints,
"Why should I learn somethin' new?"
But you always work the numbers
to your methods you stay true

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Playin' the sage
Here I go
Teachin' afar again
There I go
Earn the wage

Up there at the chalkboard
you're a million miles away
Every ounce of Calculus
you try to give away
As the math flies out your body
like the chalk dust from the tray

Later in the evenin'
as you lie awake in bed
With the echoes from the calculators
ringin' in your head
You grade the day's last pile of tests
and cover them with red

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Playin' the sage
Here I go
Teachin' afar again
There I go
Earn the wage

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Playin' the sage
Here I go
Teachin' afar again
There I go
There I go

Pi Day - The Chairman of the Chalkboard

And now, the time is here 
To celebrate a special number 
My friends, one day a year 
We revel in its joy and wonder 
It makes the circle full
I use it each Monday through Friday
And so, on March 14, Thank God it's Pi-Day 

Digits, I know a few
But then again, too few to mention 
The magnitude of Pi goes way beyond my comprehension
I tried to list it out, ran out of ink along the highway
There's more, much more than this, Thank God it's Pi-Day

How is it used, I'm sure you know
That it represents the ratio
Circumference to diameter
Two Pi r is perimeter
And area is pi r squared, Thank God it's Pi-Day

Not twenty-two sevenths
There is a fact so fundamental
Pi is irrational, it's what we call transcendental
Is it coincidence
That March 14 is Einstein's birthday 
Oh, no, I don't think so, Thank God it's Pi-Day 

Three point one four one, five nine two six 
Five three five eight, nine seven nine 
Three two three eight four six two six, four three three eight three two seven
And on and on, and on and on, Thank God it's Pi-Day 

Thank God it's Pi-Day